Forgiveness as a Somatic Practice

Letting go from the inside out

Forgiveness is often misunderstood. Many of us were taught that forgiveness means excusing harm, reconciling before we’re ready, or forcing ourselves to “move on.” When forgiveness is framed this way, it can feel unsafe, premature, or even impossible.

From a somatic inquiry perspective, forgiveness is something very different.

Forgiveness is not something you give to another person.

It is something you allow within yourself.

Forgiveness begins in the body, not the mind

When something painful happens, the event may be over, but the body often continues to hold the experience. The nervous system remembers. Sensations, emotions, and protective patterns remain active long after the moment has passed.

What we commonly call “holding a grudge” is often the body holding tension, contraction, and vigilance in an attempt to stay safe.

Forgiveness, in this sense, is not about changing the past.

It is about meeting what is still alive now.

What we are really forgiving

In somatic inquiry, we don’t start by trying to forgive a person or situation. Instead, we gently turn toward:

• The judgments we are holding

• The stories we continue to believe

• The sensations that stay activated in the body

• The emotions that were never fully allowed or processed

We begin to see that suffering doesn’t come from what happened, it comes from what we are still carrying.

Forgiveness is the willingness to let go of what hurts us.

Forgiveness is the healing of separation

When we hold painful judgments, about ourselves, others, or life, we create an inner sense of separation. The body contracts. The nervous system tightens. We feel alone, unsafe, or disconnected.

As judgments soften through inquiry, something surprising happens:

the body relaxes.

When the body no longer needs to defend against a story, it naturally moves toward regulation, connection, and ease. This is why forgiveness often brings feelings of peace, openness, or even love, without effort.

Nothing is being forced.

Something is simply being released.

You don’t have to be ready to forgive everything

Forgiveness is not a demand. It is not a moral obligation. It is not something you should do.

In somatic inquiry, forgiveness unfolds organically when the system feels safe enough. Sometimes the most compassionate step is simply acknowledging:

“I’m not ready to let this go yet.”

That honesty alone can create more space than trying to forgive too soon.

A gentle inquiry for forgiveness

You might explore, slowly and kindly:

• What am I still holding onto in my body right now?

• What does this belief or judgment feel like somatically?

• What is it trying to protect me from?

• Who would I be, right now, without this story?

There is no correct answer. The body leads.

Forgiveness as self-love

At its core, forgiveness is an act of care for your nervous system.

It is choosing not to carry what no longer serves your health, wholeness, or vitality.

You are not forgiving to make anyone else feel better.

You are forgiving because your body deserves peace.

And peace does not come from effort, it comes from letting go.